Aftershocks
by ocmluvr21
Summary: Santana just found out that her biggest secret was going to be airing on TVs all over the State.
1. Chapter 1

**This is what I think should have happened during and after Mash - Off. I know that there are dozens of these out but lets face it, Glee could have dealt with this in so many different (and better) ways. I may add more because I am not sure how much I like the ending and I don't know if I want to make this longer. I would love reviews or PMs. Like everyone else, I don't own glee or any of the characters.**

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"I haven't even told my parents yet." Was all she could say with the tears forming in her eyes.

Santana is running down the hallway. She wanted to leave, leave this damn school, this damn town, and in that moment she would not have minded leaving this world. But she knew she couldn't. She didn't want to face Brittany, or anyone else for that matter, but she knew she had too. Sure Schuester would have probably understood and not had the Trouble Tones do their mash up. But Santana hated to lose and she would not let that awkward chubby giant think that he had won.

She went to her locker and rested her back against her locker. She felt a new rush of emotions overcome her and she slid her back down so that she was in a fetal position, clutching her knees with her arms. She tried to pull herself together. _You are Santana Fucking Lopez._ She kept thinking to herself, but it was not helping her all that much.

After numerous deep breaths, she had been able to stop the tears that were falling down her checks. Slowly she stood up and opened up her locker where she checked her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were red from the tears that had fallen. She wiped her eyes and checks, clearing off any tears that remained. She looked her reflection in the eyes. After a minute of deep concentration, she closed her locker and then slowly made her way to the dressing room outside of the auditorium.

All of the other Trouble Tones were there, in their dresses, ready to perform. The sound of the door opening and closing made everyone look over at her. "There you are Santana!" Mercedes said she looked a little shaky. "We were about to send a team to find you, we are going on soon."

"Whatever." Santana said quietly and made her way over to where her dress was hanging. Mercedes did a double take at the voice of the Latina. The usual tough and strong voice had been replaced by one that sounded completely broken. Mercedes figured she would have been called wheezy and told to mind her own damn business. But she was not prepared to see the amount of pain that was pouring out of the girl who was sitting by herself, attempting to do her makeup.

Brittany had walked over and wrapped her arms around the shorter girl's waist. "San?" She asked cautiously, not wanting to upset her girlfriend more. Brittany had an idea of what was wrong but it killed her seeing the girl who was the strongest person she knew looking so broken. The girl did not say anything. "San." The blonde said again, a little sterner this time, she looked in the mirror and her blue eyes met the dark browns of Santana.

"He… he…" Santana started but she could not manage words right now. She did not want to pull Brittany into this, not yet at least.

"Is this about Coach's office?" Brittany asked quietly.

Santana nodded. "Finn… he called me a coward." Santana look a deep breath, trying to stop herself from crying again. At the word coward the rest of the girls had moved closer to the two girls, listening to find out what had made the schools HBIC crying, clearly full of pain. "He said how I love you, but…" A couple of tears had begun to fall and Brittany held her tighter. "But, you didn't love me back." She sniffled, trying hard not to let the blonde see her cry any more.

"But you know I love you." Brittany said and Santana nodded and let their eyes break contact and fall onto a stain on the floor. "So what's wrong?"

"Someone over heard, B." Santana said she was beginning to shake. "They told someone and they put it into a commercial." Santana finally said. Brittany pulled the ravenous colored hair out of the shorter girls face. Then she leaned over and kissed Santana's cheek. Santana did not pull away from the kiss. After Brittany pulled away their eyes met again.

"I'm sorry San." Brittany said, a slight film beginning to form on her own eyes.

That sight was enough to pull Santana out of her pain. "Britt you have nothing to be sorry about, you did nothing wrong." She said and then pulled the dancer into her arms. At that moment Santana did not care that there were ten other people in the room.

They pulled apart and Mercedes took the opportunity. "Santana you know we all still love you?" Santana nodded slowly, she didn't want to look away from the blonde bus she knew she had to. "Do you still want to do this?"

Santana took a deep breath. "Yeah." Santana said.

"Well we are going on in a couple of minutes." Mercedes said and then the group walked closer to Santana to help her get ready.

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Everyone stood still in shock. Santana had just slapped Finn. Brittany had not wanted to do the song, she had a feeling something would happen but she had no idea that it would be this bad.

Santana stood there slightly frozen. She had just slapped Finn. She had no idea what would happen next. Of course Schuester would side with Lumps the Clown, even though this was a hundred percent his fault. She heard movement behind her which snapped her back into the reality of what was going on.

"Santana." A familiar voice said from behind her. She felt him coming closer, and she took a glance back and saw the man in a sweater vest, her old glee coach. He had stretched out one of his hands in case he needed to pull her away.

Santana took a look around. First, she saw the faces of complete shock that was in her old glee club. Then she turned to the stage where she saw the looks on her fellow Trouble Tones, they were defiantly surprised but they understood what was going on. Finally she dared to look at Brittany and instantly the blue poured into her brown. Brittany moved slightly giving Santana a single nod. Immediately, Santana turned and walked to the aisle, avoiding the hand that Will still had stretched out. Swiftly she walked out of the auditorium and did not turn back. She walked and walked, Santana did not know where she wanted to go, but she knew she needed to continue to move, she could not stay still.

No one had moved in the auditorium, no one knew what exactly to do. Rachel was the first to move, she had leaned over to inspect where Santana had slapped Finn. Mercedes looked over at Brittany, they exchanged quick glances and then Mercedes motioned to the others and they quietly left the stage and walked back into the dressing room.

Brittany immediately walked to where her Cheerio's uniform was. After fumbling for a moment she found her cell phone and opened it.

_San are you okay? Where are you?_ She typed quickly and then hit the send button. The rest of the girls had begun to change back into their normal clothes and Brittany followed suit while she waited for a reply.

Right after she finished changing, her phone vibrated. Brittany quickly grabbed it and opened up the text. _I'm okay B. I just need to clear my head right now._ Brittany sighed and then followed the rest of the girls back into the auditorium.

Everyone had moved they were sitting on the stage talking. But as soon as the girls came out they all stopped and looked over. Everyone's eyes fell on Brittany who was last in line, clutching her phone. She had texted Santana back asking where she was, and now Brittany was hoping that her girlfriend would respond soon.

The rest of the trouble tones spread out so they were virtually standing shoulder to shoulder. This forced Brittany to stand in view of everyone else. She glanced up from her phone and her eyes scanned the faces of the other glee club, the people that were supposed to be her and Santana's friends.

Quinn stood up and began to take a step towards the other group. "Britt," she started. Brittany looked at the standing girl, their eyes meeting.

"Don't," Mercedes began. Quinn took a step back.

"Why?" Brittany asked quietly. Everyone looked back at her. "Why did you say that?" Brittany asked, louder this time, her eyes moved to Finn who was sitting with Rachel's arm wrapped around him.

"Brittany," Finn started as he began to stand up. "Whatever she told you," he was now standing and had taken a step towards them.

Brittany took a step towards him as well. "So you are telling me that you did not tell Santana that she was a coward and then outed her?" Brittany asked, her voice hitting tone, no one had never heard her in before.

"Oh my God." Quinn breathed out quietly. She had known for a long time about Brittany and Santana, although she never dared to say anything about it.

"But everyone already knew." He said, attempting to justify all of the pain he had caused Santana without realizing it.

"So then everyone should know that I love Santana more than I could love anyone else."

"What?" Finn asked confused, he was used to the blonde saying things that made sense but those statements tended to be so farfetched.

"You told her that she was afraid that I don't love her back."

"I didn't mean it; I was just caught up in the moment." Finn said stuttering as the rest of the glee clubbers stood up and began to circle around the two.

"So that is why you yelled all of that loudly and will be played in a commercial all over Ohio?"

"What?" Finn asked confused.

"Yeah." Brittany said but she could not clarify what exactly she meant.

Mercedes took a small step forward. "There is a commercial to trash Sue that involves her not having family values by having a lesbian head cheerleader." She filled in the other club with the words she knew Brittany was not able to articulate.

"I… I." Finn stuttered, shaking his head. "Brittany I am so sorry."

Brittany felt her phone vibrate in her hand, she knew it was Santana she glanced down and skimmed the text. _B. I am making my way to the car, wanna meet me there? _Brittany looked into Finn's eyes, she felt like he was sorry but he had no idea how much pain Santana was in now. "I'm not the one you should apologize to." She said and then turned around and began to walk. The other girls parted to allow the tall blonde to make her way out.

Brittany did not look back and took the same steps that her girlfriend had taken earlier, out of the auditorium. She continued to walk until she saw the Latina resting her back against her red mustang. She looked up at the sound of footsteps and a small smile formed on her face. Brittany quickened her pace and virtually ran into the shorter girls arms.

Santana wrapped her arms around the taller girl's waist and Brittany wrapped hers around her girlfriend's neck. They stood there for a moment, just holding each other. "Are you okay?" Brittany asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had formed.

Santana nodded, her head resting on the blonde's shoulder. "I'll be fine B." She said quietly.

"Do you want to go home now?"

"No I can't go home." Santana said shaking her head. "Can I go to your house?"

"Of course!" Brittany said and Santana smiled. They pulled apart and then got into Santana's car.

Santana glanced in her mirror and wiped her eyes, she then glanced over in the passenger's seat, making sure that Brittany had her seat belt on. Brittany took one of Santana's hands in her and then kissed the back of her hand.

"I love you San." Brittany said.

"I love you two Britt." Santana said and then turned on the ignition.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: So you guys seemed to really like it so I am decided to do a second chapter. Please review and read my other stuff. It means a lot that you guys like this! Here is the link to my twitter feel free to follow me; I post about glee and writing a lot. /#!/cshaw221  
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The red mustang pulled into the driveway of Brittany's house. The driveway had previously been empty which made both girls happy. Santana was not ready to see anyone else, let alone Brittany's parents. She knew that they would be thrilled, they loved Santana like another daughter and Santana loved them as if they were her parents. But after everything that had gone on, all Santana wanted to do was to be alone with Brittany.

They walked into Brittany's house and then into the kitchen, where Santana got a bottle of water. She felt a little sick; everything was still a blur, only an hour or so ago her life was great. But now, she felt completely broken. Brittany's hand had not left hers since they got out of the car. Santana was extremely happy about that, as she heard in the back of her head a slight cry for whatever pills were upstairs in the bathroom. That little voice that wanted whatever it could get its hands on to get rid of the pain, the anguish that filled her.

Brittany noticed Santana looking at the block of knives that sat on the kitchen counter. "San." She said and the Latina looked back at her. The blue eyes were a deep ocean blue color, with a thin layer of tears covering them. Santana hated seeing Brittany looking like that. She quickly shook her head, trying to get that voice to shut up. She didn't want the voice crying out like it was, telling her she could make all this pain stop now.

Brittany tugged a little of the hand in hers, pulling her out of the kitchen. She knew she would have to keep an eye on Santana for a little bit. But she knew as much pain as Santana was in now, once their families knew and were excepting of it, Santana would be happier than Brittany had ever seen her. They sat down on the couch, Santana leaning into Brittany and they turned on the TV.

Finding Nemo was playing and they both watched intently as they both loved the movie, although Santana would never admit it. Brittany played with some of Santana's hair. About halfway through the movie, the front door opened and closed, pulling Santana out of her trance from the movie.

"Hi girls." Brittany's mom greeted them walking past them and then made her way up the stairs.

Santana looked over at the blonde behind her, Brittany's eyes had closed and from the way she was breathing Santana knew that she was pretty much asleep. Carefully, Santana moved trying her best not to disturb her. Quietly she made her way upstairs where she knew she could find a couple of pills. That voice in her head would not shut up, and she hoped taking two or three would calm it down.

She made her way up the stairs and to the hall bathroom. It had a door connected to the master bedroom as the Peirce's did not want to leave drugs in their daughters' bathroom. The medicine cabinet had an average amount of medicine all with children safe caps. Santana pulled out the aspirin and opened up the lid. She tilted the bottle into her hand, allowing a couple of pills to fall out. Right as she was about to pop them, the door opened and Susan Peirce walked in.

"Oh sorry honey." She said as she saw Santana. "Are you okay?" She asked after seeing the bottle in her hand.

Santana turned away from the taller blonde. "Yeah, just a headache." Santana muttered and popped two pills in her mouth.

"How was your mash-off? Brittany mentioned something about doing Adele and that you had a solo."

"Fine." Santana muttered. She didn't want to be rude, as she loved the woman as if she was her mother, but she was not ready to tell her.

"Are you sure you are okay?" She asked taking another step towards Santana, forcing the girl to look the older woman in the eyes. "Santana, were you crying?"

Santana wanted to look away but she couldn't. She didn't know what to say, she managed to put the bottle down behind her. She nodded slightly. She felt her eyes watering again, she hated this feeling and it had kept overcoming her today.

"What happened?" She asked her voice full of concern. Santana bit her bottom lip, and did not say anything. "Is this about you and Brittany?" Susan's voice was both sweet and concerned.

Santana looked up at the older woman. "You know?" She asked unsurely, and then Susan nodded. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

Susan thought for a second. Her and her husband had known for a long time about her daughter and Santana's relationship. "We didn't care." Santana looked away from her. "We are just so thrilled that you girls found someone that you love as much as you two love each other. Santana couldn't help it as tears began to fall down her checks. Susan glanced over at the pill bottle on the counter. "Santana?" Her voice was now full of concern. The Latina noticed this change in tone and looked back at her girlfriend's mother. "You weren't…" she started. "You weren't planning on overdosing, were you?" Her voice was shaking; she loved the girl in front of her so much. But she knew how passionate Santana could be, and she knew what that could lead to.

Santana didn't know what to say, she could never lie to Susan Peirce, she was like another mother to her. Instead she took a couple of strides wrapping her arms around the older woman's neck. Susan wrapped her arms around Santana's waist. As they stood there, Santana couldn't stop the tears that began to pour down her face.

Susan rubbed her back, whispering words into Santana's ear, trying to comfort the crying girl. She was still not sure what had happened, but she figured Santana had been outed. She did not want to push Santana, but she figured when the time was right she would be told what had happened.

Santana pulled away an inch or two and Susan held her by the arms, causing Santana to look into the blues eyes that were identical to Brittany's. "You know we love you?" Susan kept her voice as calm as she could keep it, as she tried her hardest not to cry as well. Santana nodded. "And whatever happens, you know we will be here for you."

Santana felt another wave of emotions overcome her and she hugged Susan again. "Thank you." She whispered.

A knock on the door pulled them out of a silence that had formed. "San?" Brittany's voice was quiet and worried.

Santana wiped her eyes. "Come on in Britt." Santana said, pulling away from Susan.

The door opened slowly and Brittany came in a little unsurely. "What's going on?" She asked, seeing the way her mom was looking at her.

"Santana and I were just talking." Susan said, wiping her eyes.

"I told your mom about us." Santana said, holding her hand out to Brittany who took it in hers.

"You did?" A smile formed on Brittany's face.

"Yeah and when I go home, I will tell my parents." Santana said after taking a deep breath.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"Thanks, but I think I should do it myself." Brittany nodded and then hugged Santana.

"Well, how about we go downstairs and we bake some of the cookies that we have in the freezer." Susan said and Santana walked out of the bathroom. Brittany began to make her way out when her mother grabbed her arm slightly. "I want you to keep a careful eye on Santana for a little bit." She said quietly so that Santana wouldn't over hear.

"Don't worry I will." Brittany said and then she walked out of the room. Susan put the lid back on top of the bottle of pills and then took the pain killers out and moved them into a drawer in her bedroom. A couple of minutes later she joined the girls downstairs in the kitchen.

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**Author's Note: So I know this is a little short but I wanted to get this up here soon. I will definitely have a third chapter and I will go from there to see if I want to continue it even more. **


	3. Chapter 3

**I am sooo happy that you guys are liking this story. I think that this is the last chapter . I may come back to this and write about her dealing with her sexuality at school, but right now I think that I will end it here. Review if you want more though as reviews will definitely motivate me. Please read my other stuff as well, most of it is Brittana, all of it has Brittany in it. **

The drive from Brittany's house to Santana's was not a long one. But tonight it seemed to drag on. Santana pulled her mustang up to the curb of her house. It was about nine at night but she was not at all surprised to see that one of the cars was missing from the driveway.

Her house was dark and as she walked in, she flipped the switch, lighting up the empty living room. Santana didn't know what to do with herself, when she was nervous she would eat, but Brittany's mom had made them a huge dinner after they finished the cookies. In the past when she was nervous she would drink, but after that fiasco last year that ended with her and Brittany throwing up during a performance, she couldn't drink without feeling sick. That smell did not leave her hair for over a week.

Instead she walked up the stairs and into her room where she fell down onto her bed. The normal silence that filled her house felt eerie and awkward tonight. And then it was back, that voice, telling her she could make everything go away, go away tonight.

Slowly she stood up and made her way to her bathroom. She opened up a drawer that had some extra disposable razors. She grabbed one and took it over to her toilet and hit the head on the side of the hard porcelain, causing it to break. Then she slipped off her shorts, so she could find a place that no one would see. As she held the blade in her hand she brought it near her thigh, about ready to drag it across.

The door slammed shut downstairs with a loud thud. It brought Santana out of the trance she had been in and she looked at what she was about to do. She lifted the lid of the toilet and threw the blades in and then flushed it, trying to prevent herself from changing her mind. She pulled her shorts back on and then walked out of the bathroom and walked down the stairs to see her parents sitting around the kitchen table.

"Sorry, we got held up at dinner." Maria Lopez said when she noticed her daughter walk into the kitchen. "Did you find something to eat?"

"I was at Britts." Santana said, trying not to begin to cry, she had cried enough for the day. She was Santana fucking Lopez after all.

She sat down at the table and looked at her parents, they sat there, a little tired both holding a glass of wine. "Are you okay Santana?" Phillip asked, as he saw the look in his daughter's eyes.

"I need to talk to you." She said taking a deep breath.

"What's going on?" Maria asked.

"I wanted to tell you this, and not let you find out from someone else." She paused, attempting to work up the courage to say what she has been trying to hide her entire life.

Santana glanced down at her left leg that had begun to shake, the voice in her head began screaming again, telling her how she could stop everything, almost instantly. "Santana, honey?" Maria asked, looking at her daughter, unsure of what to expect.

Santana looked back up, trying to prevent tears from forming in her eyes. "I love you both so much, and I want you to know me, and there is something that I have known for a while, but I tried to fight it, hoping that it wasn't true. But it is and I am tired of constantly fighting myself. You see I love Brittany, and I want to be with her. When I am with her, I am just so happy and she makes me feel better than anyone else does. I don't want you to be mad; I just want you to know the truth."

Maria and Phillip looked at each other. Santana looked between the two of them, trying to figure out what they were saying to each other. Phillip was the first to talk. "Santana, you know how we feel about those people?" He said in a solemn voice.

"Yes Papi." Santana said, feeling her heart breaking, she knew what was coming and the voice in her head began to scream again, wanting to make all of this end now. She felt herself move unconsciously, beginning to make her way to the bathroom.

"But there is nothing you could ever do that would make us stop loving you." He finished and Santana looked at him in disbelief. "This may take some adjusting, but we still love you." Maria took one of Santana's hands in hers and Santana moved back into the chair.

"We will always love you." Maria clarified, looking her daughter in the eyes, the matching dark brown orbs not leaving the other set.

Santana bit down on her bottom lip, she couldn't cry now, she had been crying all day. Besides her parents were the same way about crying as she was; they found it as a sign of weakness. She was just so happy that they were there sitting at the table holding hands, instead of them telling her to get out of their house. "I love you too." She finally said and with it came tears that begun to fall down her face.

She took back her hand to wipe away the tears and tried to pull herself together. "It's okay miel." Maria said standing up to hug her daughter. Santana easily wrapped her arms around her mother. It had been so long since she had been held by the woman, she missed the feeling and in that moment she did not want to let go. Tears began to fall again, but this time Santana did not try to stop them.

She heard footsteps and then a strong hand rested on her back. Santana looked up and saw her father smiling at her and she tried to smile back at him. "I am so proud of you." He said, to her and the voice in her head was instantly silenced. She had been wanting to hear those words out of her father's mouth since she was born. She found it so odd that it came out in such an emotional moment, something that was very rare in the Lopez house.

A little reluctantly, Santana pulled away from her mother's arms. For the hundredth time today she wiped her eyes, erasing the tears that were forming in her eyes. "I am so glad you aren't mad." She said a little quietly, standing up to be even with her parents.

"This might take a little time to get used to." Maria began to say.

"But I must say I like Brittany a whole hell of a lot more than Puck." Phillip said and Santana let out a small laugh. She had not really smiled or laughed since she had gone to Sue Sylvester's office earlier that day.

"Me too." Santana said. Then Phillip did something he had not done in over ten years. He pulled Santana a little, and then hugged his only daughter. Santana automatically wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you Papi." She said quietly in his ear.

"I love you too Santana." He responded. A silence fell in the room and the voice began to creep back, much more quietly this time, but Santana still noticed it. And then she heard someone sniffle. She saw her mother out of the corner of her eye. Her eyes were watering but it had not appeared as if she had made the noise.

Santana unsurely pulled away from her father, saw his eyes were slightly red he used one of his free hands to wipe his nose. Santana looked at her father in shock, she had never seen him cry or come close to crying.

And with that the voice in her head was silenced and this time for good. She did not need to escape the pain or the world. She was with Brittany now and both her parents and Brittany's were okay with it. She did not need to escape the pain because there was not anymore pain right now. And if there was she knew she had Brittany who could always make her feel better.


End file.
